Fifteen Years Later

The infant I had then is ready for driving school, playing soccer on the big boy field, with the ones who look like men and shave. Because of his passion we went to a New England Revolution soccer game on the eve of September 11. The date hadn’t occurred to any of us yet and we soon grew wary of being told to stand for remembrances. Not because the remembrances shouldn’t be held, but because of the constant barrage of manufactured patriotism. If you’re not with us, you’re against us.  It gave me a perspective on why an NFL player might want to send his own message in one of these stadiums. There is another story, and the one being presented doesn’t represent all of us.

The next day Younger Son had another game in far away coastal RI. We saw the tributes in our hotel breakfast room but for the first time they were personal and quiet. The reporter interviewed the children of his hometown, where almost two dozen people had lost their lives. These children, married adults now with their own children, calmly told stories of what it was like to grow up without a parent. They’ve had to tell those stories all their lives, no matter what the rest of America says about what happened in 2001.

Waiting for the game to start, we found a beach to walk on. A child played with a soccer ball on a grassy field. A young man approached and asked if he could play. The child turned and bolted away – probably more from stranger danger than the man’s latte-brown skin tone. The man walked to a nearby tree where he had a blanket spread out and began his prayers. His song at the end rang quietly on the breeze and added to the beauty of the ocean scene. The American flag a few feet away hung at half staff. In my mind I encouraged my son to get his ball out of the car and play with the man. But in reality it never happened.

When we got home Older was working on his homework. He said this is why he hates homework, because he had to ask me questions about something sad – 9/11. I didn’t mind. We were spared the worst of the tragedy. I told him about my sister who managed to call and tell me she was OK before cell service went out. He asked if I thought it changed the world – of course it did. Fifteen years and hundreds of thousands of lives lost. “What do you think of the political response?”

Am I allowed to tell him I think it was a continuation of the tragedy? How do I phrase this? I told him about the unity we had squandered – how it didn’t matter who you were but on those days after you looked deeper into each other’s eyes. You made connections with strangers. You cared how people were doing and you chose your words carefully. Using phrases like “It’s so hot I’m gonna die” became too painful to say. No one knew when it was OK to laugh again. We were reverent and unified. We are the opposite now, and that is why sometimes it’s hard to stand up and pledge allegiance. The angry voices in the headlines no longer represent me or what I want for my children. There are more stories than what we’re hearing. I wanted to tell him how we have to love each other, shut our mouths and listen with open minds. But he was on to the next assignment. And the football announcer on the tv mentioned the tributes that were painted on the shoes of some players, while others still kneeled in protest.

You’ve Come a Long Way Baby


I’ve never been a huge fan of Hillary but I can’t deny how moved I am to wake up and see this in my news feed. After all my years as a woman on this earth, a radical, loud-mouthed, feminist woman, to have it dawn that this could really be a possibility is a stunning feeling. I’m surprised that I feel this way, and a little sad. This shouldn’t be a new idea to me yet it speaks volumes about my experience as an American woman.

I see the faces of the 90+ and below-10-year-old ladies watching a woman be nominated for President on tv and I am energized – those hollow words I’ve heard all my life that “you can do anything” feel a little more real. We can do this, and now more than ever we need to get it done. Maybe God knew it was going to take a woman to put things right, this year in particular.

Women are not dolls to be paraded around and shown off. We aren’t here to meet your sexual needs at the age of 12. We’re not servants, playthings, or someone to brush off on your way to more important things.

Women get the work done. We show up. We nurture. We bear witness. We calmly stream truth to the world while boyfriends are murdered in front of four-year-old daughters. We move on. We survive. We feed. We take whatever is handed to us and keep moving. We forgive. We protect. We teach. We raise sons to respect not just other women but people of all shapes and sizes. We are fearless. We run the world. It took Hillary an entire lifetime of work – and being harassed, bullied, intimidated, put down, and mocked – to make it to this point, to show all of us women from 6 to 96, that we really can make it. For that she has earned my respect and, yes – a little bit of awe.

Resources for Opting Out of Standardized Tests

Here are some links for parents who have questions regarding the Opt Out movement and MCAS/PARCC in Massachusetts.

You may be thinking, “It will hurt the school if my child doesn’t take this test.” Our children don’t work for the schools. It’s time to turn that argument around. The schools have an obligation to educate and protect children, which they are not upholding when they allow standardized testing to dictate what happens in the school day. And they are being forced to do that by testing corporations. The only way you can hit corporations where it hurts is in their pocket – which you can do by not allowing your children to be their laborers.

If you read nothing else on this page, please read the following link:

PARCC Testing Disrupts Learning

If you decide to refuse for your child, they can carry this sticker with them so the teachers know they’re not taking the tests.

The fight is not over when you opt out. Please consider joining the movement to stop common core and support the ballot initiative (which is being heavily attacked by the same people making money off public education). Information can be found here. The article in this link shows what we are up against in MA in trying to eliminate common core from our educational system.

In Massachusetts

Guide to Opting Out of MCAS/PARCC Testing

Monomoy High officials cry foul over state test ranking (DESE uses PARCC scores they promised not to and drops Monomoy schools into lower tier)

How to Opt Out of the State Tests

Opt Out! from the Bill Newman Show: the 7th grader who started a movement in her Amherst school (skip to 43:00)

Massachusetts Teachers Endorse Right to Opt Out

Ludlow Superintendent Todd Gazda’s Blog

From MCAS to PARCC and, Maybe, Beyond: A Testing Timeline

Recommendation on Student Assessment from Mitchell Chester (who is still on the Governing Board of Pearson, which makes 40% of national budget spent on testing, and who actually sat in hearings with teachers and saw them cry about what the tests are doing to their students but went forth with this proposal)

A Parents’ Guide to Opting Out of State Standardized Tests

Declaring Level 4’s: “Where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter”

UP Charter network, which will open a school in Springfield, gave out 68 suspensions to kindergartners last year

2015 Accountability Levels: everything’s made up, but the points matter

Mass charter boards lack parents, dominated by corporate interests

As Long As We’re Silent Nothing Will Change

New Bedford presses parents to accept PARCC exams

Charlie Baker: Dark Money, Charter Schools, And Teacher Unions

Commissioner’s Weekly Update, Refusals to Take an Assessment (the commissioner says children should not be punished for refusing)

Can Massachusetts Parents Opt Out?

Arguments for Refusing

What are you saying when you opt out?

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Pearson Tests

Ted Talk: Jesse Hagopian, Giving Students a Solid Chance

Pearson ‘Education’ — Who Are These People?

Why You Can Boycott Standardized Tests Without Fear of Federal Penalties to Your School

PTA is Opting Out

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Standardized Testing (NSFW)

An explanation of the pineapple question (at 20:00)

Education in Crisis and the Threat of Privatization

Thousands Refuse Common Core Testing, Calls for National Opt-Out and Washington March

The Cost of Testing, and Who’s Making Money

Testing More, Teaching Less: What America’s Obsession with Student Testing Costs in Money and Lost Instructional Time

States spending the most on education

Infographic: Why Corporations Want Our Public Schools

No Profit Left Behind

Ten Common Core Promoters Laughing All the Way to the Bank

Public Schools, Public Money, and Charter Schools

The Myth Behind Public School Failure

Teach for America Enrollment Declines for 2nd Year as Part of Larger Trend

Common Core Is Meant To Destroy and Replace Public School Education

A Coordinated National Effort to Decimate Public Schools

Public School Funding in Massachusetts: Where We Are, What Has Changed, and How We Compare to Other States

Get the Facts: Charter Schools in MA

Just Nonsense

What happens when you let young, inexperienced teachers take over classrooms? Idealism is wonderful, but trying to change evolution is slightly beyond your reach, young lady.

Real Education

And finally, what students can do when they are inspired.

Good Enough

My local radio station started a new series for the holidays, “Good Enough,” about just relaxing and letting Christmas be, well, good enough. The first time I heard the announcers talking about it I smiled. Yep! That’s me! I’m hosting 15 in the midst of closing a business I’ve run for 12 years (which means emptying the house of tons of baby equipment), starting a new job (working at home so I need to set up an office), and finishing my classes (at my age I should be having a mid-life crisis, not pulling all-nighters). So yeah, they’ll be lucky if the house is clean and there’s food, and that has to be good enough this time around.

The radio host said she wasn’t really feeling the Christmas spirit, and that also resonated with me. Of course there’s the busy-ness listed above, but in recent years I’ve had a hard time summoning the joy. I think it’s something beyond feeling overwhelmed but I couldn’t put a finger on it until I did some holiday shopping. There was a mom showing her daughter the Frozen toys, while the girl’s eyes opened wide as saucers. The little boy who was literally screaming while running toward the Star Wars display. I don’t get to revel in that excitement because my kids are older now.

My teenagers don’t jump for joy in the aisles. They’d rather melt into the background. As I shopped, I longed for the days when I could just buy whatever junk off the $1 pile and have them react like it was the best thing they’d ever seen. Now I have to take a hard look and think, do they really want this, and is it worth what I’m investing, or will it end up in the pile under their bed? And will they think I’m completely out of touch because why would they even want something like this? I remember the Christmas mornings where the gift opening went on for an hour because the tree was piled with Play-Doh, Matchbox cars, and plastic dinosaurs, and every gift was a treasure. Now they’re still happy with their gifts but it’s over much faster, and are the cinnamon rolls done yet?

I’ve got one kid who stubbornly clings to the magic of Christmas, and I told him he’s carrying the spirit for our family this year. He started a tradition of bringing candy canes to his class, which I totally forgot about. He followed me grocery shopping this weekend just so he could pick out his canes. When I pointed out he only needed one box (I thought for his teachers), he said “Don’t you remember? I give them to the whole class.” OK, now on top of being the Grinch I’m a lousy mother to boot.

For this boy, I’m rallying. He gave me a list of items he needed for the teacher presents he assembles every year: pencils, dry erase markers, sticky notes, erasers, and of course chocolate. He found bags, stuffed them with tissue, and put labels on each one. He found an old soccer ball of his own and taped a candy cane to it for his gym teacher. My heart swelled (3 sizes that day?) and I felt it – the joy of the season comes in a different way, and it doesn’t just disappear because they’re older.

It doesn’t have to be about what Santa left and how high they’re going to jump when they see it. Both of my kids are so happy to have their entire family coming here, they can’t stand the wait. At first we weren’t going to host (see paragraph 1) and they were disappointed. They started talking about how awesome it was when we had the family over and my husband and I just melted. If I can’t give them joy through gifts, I can give them their family. And when I started thinking of it that way I remembered it’s not the presents, food, and hubbub they remember about Christmas. What they want is their loved ones nearby. That’s enough for me.


News and Activism

Big happenings in my world lately, dear friends. I got a new job as a TVI (Teacher of Students with Visual Impairments) for little ones from 0-3 and I couldn’t be more excited. I’ll be working at Perkins School for the Blind, the legendary school of Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller. This means I had to close my day care, which after 12 years was gut-wrenching and difficult. I will miss and think about my kids a lot in the coming months, wondering how they’re doing and if they’re happy in their new “homes.” I trust my local providers knowing how awesome they all are, and that the kids will adjust. Kids are resilient – moreso than their parents sometimes (and that includes me!).

Just because the day care is closed doesn’t mean this blog is shutting down – I’ll still be here writing about parenting, education issues, and even cooking up a few new projects like a podcast with one of my mentors, Pam Clark, who you may have read about on this blog before. I’ll be posting information about that in the coming months (hopefully – as the dust settles!).

My latest bit of activism is a letter to the editor of the NY Times in response to this article about our state’s supposed “rejection” of PARCC. What it really means to those of us fighting common core in MA is that they are going to re-brand PARCC by “combining” it with the MCAS test. Many of us are trying change the testing paradigm by drastically reducing how many times it is taken (students in MA take MCAS EVERY YEAR from 3rd – 11th grade) and removing the connection of test results to teacher performance. (Some of us would like testing eliminated altogether but, baby steps.)

My letter won’t get published because things move fast nowadays – I took a digital break for Thanksgiving and missed the whole comment period. But that’s why I have this blog.

Before I print the letter I want to thank you all for your continued support. Thanks for reading, and please continue to look for more parenting fun and loudly shouted opinions coming from my little corner over here. 🙂

To the Editor:

The article “Massachusetts’s Rejection of Common Core Test Signals Shift in U.S.” (Nov. 21) downplays the narrative of what has really happened to teachers and students in Massachusetts and the stubbornly blind eyes and deaf ears that policymakers have turned to their constituents. It overlooks the fact that there has been a statewide grassroots organization of thousands of parents, grandparents, teachers, aides, and students to create a 2016 ballot issue to remove common core. Our voices have been ignored and downplayed while Mitchell Chester et al inform us that we are too stupid to understand what’s going on in our schools, and what’s really good for our children.

Last April the state rolled out its pilot of the PARCC test. The culture surrounding this issue has been a draconian, keep your mouth shut or lose your job environment. Teachers have been fired for speaking out against the methods prescribed by common core. Though most teachers oppose common core and PARCC tests, they are afraid to speak the truth to the parents in their classrooms because this threat looms heavy.

Some teachers reached out to trusted allies who would be able to speak publicly on the subject. We met in dark restaurants out of our district to avoid being seen. Parents were told we couldn’t opt out, but had to “refuse” the tests. Parents received threatening letters and phone calls from principals, attempting to coerce them to make their children take the test. In some cases, principals did not accept refusals from parents and tried to get the child, while sitting in the classroom preparing to take the test, to tell their teacher that they were refusing. Students were forced to take tests against their parents’ will because seven-year-olds aren’t developmentally capable of looking their teacher in the eye and telling them no. Stories like this in varying degrees happened all across the state, and that doesn’t even cover what happened to children with special needs or IEPs, who are the biggest victims of PARCC testing.

Most of the people making federal policy and commenting in articles on education are not teachers. They haven’t worked in classrooms nor do they understand children and their development. Education is a female-dominated profession under siege by international businesses looking to make money off education budgets. Last April and May our schools had over 30 days of testing. My children sat out because I don’t send them to school to function as guinea pigs for the Pearson corporation.